Our journey thus far

I thought my first post should include a summary of our journey, how we got here and what's next. 

T and I met in our early 20's. We met thoroughly by accident, just as I was about to move back to the other side of the world. It took us two weeks to know we were meant to be, and have been extraordinarily happy ever since. 

We decided we wanted children very early on. So we tried. Boy, did we try. It was a heck of a lot of fun at first, then it got a tad frustrating, then downright depressing. We put things on the back burner a tad for a couple of years because of my health- not not trying, just not trying per se.

My sister went in for surgery for Endometriosis. She urged me to see her surgeon. Figuring this might contributing to our lack of a baby, I made an appointment. A month later I had surgery, and plenty of endo was removed- leaving my left ovary damaged. My doctor felt confident we would have a much better chance with the endo gone, but urged us to see a fertility specialist within a year.

So we tried and tried again.

My periods stopped. I admit T and I tried our hardest not to get our hopes up, but my periods are always 27 days, and I was late! Pregnancy test after pregnancy test came out negative. Pain started hitting me in my ovaries, I would collapse on a daily basis. Ultrasounds showed cysts, it took almost a year for  PCOS to be confirmed (my bloodwork was normal until last year, how this makes sense- I've no idea.) Over eight months, I had two periods- one of which lasted 6 weeks- and countless ultrasounds. 

We figured I wasn't ovulating, so we decided it was time to see that fertility specialist who promptly packed us off to get countless tests. 

I remember exactly where I was when I decided to call and check if all our test results were back. I asked the nurse about my tests, almost everything was normal except what you would expect with PCOS. Then there was silence, the nurse said she needed to check with the doctor. After what seemed like forever she got back on the phone and said T had no sperm. Well, he had TWO in the sample and they weren't moving. Follow up SA showed SIX sperm, all dead.

A bit of shock for us as up until that moment, we figured this whole infertility thing was down to me. Right, we decided, there's TESA and ICSI, we'll be fine. 

Yea, no. T has only one functioning testicle. Dr doesn't want to biopsy because of the risk of damage. Super.

T hasn't seen a urologist yet. Here, urologists don't tend to see you unless you have cancer. I'm not joking. So, we are in limbo as far as T's testes are concerned!

At this stage we are looking at donor sperm. However, and here's another kicker, it's illegal to pay donors in this country. This means there is a mega shortage of sperm to be had- about a three year wait. 

So, we wait. We wait for T to see a urologist, we wait for sperm to become available, we wait to save enough money to come to the states and buy some sperm there. 

Neither T nor I are extremely patient, we have been waiting for a baby for five years now, meaning we have spent our entire late 20's in pursuit of this dream. We have no choice but to wait a bit longer. I guess this blog is a way to keep me busy, to connect, to research, and to share the rest of this journey. 

Vicky xx